Sa Ham – I am She (2017 series) -3 (The Battle)

From A Journey Around My Skulls (Wikimedia Commons)

Is Mother a sexual harassment survivor?

The battle of the Goddess and the demons is unlike other battles. It is not for a kingdom or lands or honour. It is about the right to choose and the right to be. It is a battle that we women are intimately familiar with.

The demons assumed Mother would marry their Demon-Lord. When she refused to kowtow and instead challenged their king, the Lord sent his men to force her into submission. The more his side lost, the angrier the Lord became till he stepped into the battlefield for the culminating fight. The Goddess triumphed.

Would you call this battle as sexual harassment? Would you call Mother as sexual harassment victim or perhaps survivor?

No, you don’t. You celebrate the glory of the Goddess loudly and openly. You celebrate her triumph and seek her blessings to fight your battles in life. You are inspired by her strategies, her strength, her self-confidence, her flexibility, her courage. Heck, you openly sing hymns detailing the harassment.

How is it then in human battles such as intimate partner violence or rape or sexual harassment we are called survivors?

As in rape survivor, child sexual abuse survivor, domestic violence survivor – where the first part of the phrase defines and masters over the second less consequential part? That we are first known by the incidents that happened to us and that we survived. Like calamities befell and we survived. Like unfortunately, bad days came and we survived.

Survived as in lived, had breath in our body, continued. Wah wah.

Do you call soldiers who fight along the borders of a country Border Violence Survivor or those who fight intercountry wars as International Violence Survivor?

Nah, we like to decorate them as war heroes and martyrs. And they give speeches on what strategies they used to vanquish the enemy and folks listen in awe and admiration.

In the meantime, we fight the Mother of all battles – our borders are the doors to our home, our enemies can be men we love most, our battles fought in a space we call home, by our beds, by the fire where the milk boils. It is a fight where we are asked to lose by people we cherish. It is a fight which society urges to hide, a fight which if we win, we are pitied.

Pitied as in, oh poor her, she is a domestic violence survivor. Or ridiculed as in, she does not know how to compromise.

We can take back language, no? Like call ourselves Domestic War Hera or Sexual War Hera.

The fact is we outlasted and outmaneuvered our enemies in the Mother of All Battles. We used multiple strategies to resist and walk ourselves free. Those are powerful strategies. How did we scan the environment? How did we resist? How did we protect ourselves? How did we plan to leave? How did we take them to task?

These strategies are useful in other aspects of life and can inspire others. Let us wear those strategies proudly.

My strategies – once I determine, I am very focused and patient for a long time. I make plans which are pragmatic. Those plans are made after considering various scenarios. I keep those plans a secret and do not reveal even to a close friend. I work very hard, continuously checking if all the dominoes are in position. I stay calm in crisis and network instead. You will not find me crying or afraid. You will not find me having second thoughts. Instead, I refine and execute my plans.

I succeed. I won.

What strategies have you used to fight your battles?

You can read other posts of the Sa Ham - I am She (2017 series) here:

(1) Akaalbodhan

(2) Dashabhuja 

(3) The Battle

(4) Unconditional Love/Heal from Shame

(5) Identification

(6) she is She

(7) Battles are in our Mind

(8) Land Dreams to Earth

(9) Equation with Money
(10) The Battle that Isn't

(11) La Que Sabe/The Woman who Knows

(12) No Visarjan/Sa Ham