Two girls raped--so what?

It is not only about two little girls gangraped in Delhi. It is about the little girls, the older girls, the vulnerable boys, the women of all ages being raped everyday, every week all over the country. Raped or gangraped. Some with visible injuries and hospitalization or death. Some with injuries too deep to be seen.

And while this goes on (unabated in spite of 2013 protests), the fact is men on my friends list continue to use the word “rape” as an everyday term to denote victory in a game or a debate or war. The fact is men on my friends list continue to enjoy sexualization of women in their everyday male conversations and pass it off as “boys will be boys.” The fact is many male activists who protest and male journos who report rapes themselves sexualize and dehumanize women in interpersonal spaces. The fact is women don’t call out the men they love or are dependent on—as mothers or sisters or lovers. The fact is it feels good to stand in a candlelight vigil rather than bring the candle home, let it burn and melt and scar your hands as you stand up in the everyday spaces—personal or professional. The fact is it feels good to write a bristling social media message for easy attention than lose in everyday spaces—your jobs and home and money, families and friends and lovers, your mind.

The fact is men don’t want to be called boring or nerdy or party pooper. The fact is women don’t want to be labelled as “complaining bitches”, speaking up on everyday power inequities, muting of voices, erasure of spirit in circles that matter, in the intimate circles that finally are OUR spaces of struggle.

The fact is India is a nation of hypocrites, spiritually exhausted. A nation where tens of thousands of rape trauma survivors walk in our midst and we say—we will kill a few rapists or shout for policy change and then you can forget it and move on.

So two little girls were raped. Shake your head and ask for a candlelight vigil and move on.