Take Back India-IV (Solutions)

A lot of people have been debating and discussing solutions to reduce/eliminate rape in India in the past few days. Several solutions have been offered from modifying laws of the land, to stricter security measures through more efficient courts, to improving “moral” values, to better parenting of sons.

I am not here to debate them. There are experts for that. I am also not here to provide “the” solution as seasoned activists and grassroots workers who work with survivors in close proximity know better than I can ever do. This post is to reflect on those aspects that have not gained prominence as yet. It is more an exploration than a definitive answer.

This post is last in the series Take Back India. Previous posts include Men We Trust, Coping and Transforming, and Taking Back Now.)

It was a comment made by a friend that got me thinking-- on how the core issue of dehumanization in the  Delhi Gang rape incident has somehow been lost in the melee.

Yes, rape is a symptom of larger malaise in the society. There is an ulcer or a tumour in the system. The problem, as my friend stated, is dehumanization. It reminded me of the works of two philosophers—Martin Buber and Emmanuel Levinas and how perhaps their works may be applicable in this regard.

But before I set off, let me state this—that we do not know for a fact why men rape. We, in India, have not studied psychology of rapists. Whatever little information we have is based on infrequent studies in the West. Those studies find reason for rape as hostility and desire for control and that it is not a result of sexual arousal. Those studies also find that there are two kinds of men—one, criminal rapists who tend to be poor and less educated and have a record of criminal offences, and who tend to social isolates; two, psychiatric rapists who are well-educated and well-to-do, who blend into society well. Both do not have mental health issues but rather seem to be connected to a subculture of violence which legitimizes the use of force as in rape. Fellow blogger Srini C.who blogs at What Ho! has also reflected on Why do rapes happen? .

Given this background, albeit sketchy, let me dwell on the point made in the beginning—dehumanizing the other. MartinBuber postulated that there are two ways we interact with this world. One is I-It and the other is I-Thou.  In the I-It relationship, the Other loses humanity, it is converted into an object. Even though we may call a person he or she, we still mean “it.” In I-Thou relationship, the Other is present fully as we are present to ourselves, as we feel our hunger, our pain, our joy.

Emmanuel Levinas speaks of how “I” is called into an ethical relationship with the Other, by the Presence of the Other—the Other beckons the “I” into responsibility. But we often don’t see the Face of the Other, because it is mediated by the Other of the Other—or in simple words, the Other is never present before us fully as that which is palpitating with life, with dignity and beauty.

So I ask the question—what prevents us from feeling the Other as we feel ourselves. One, self-needs and wants are so high that one is unable to look beyond to the Other. Two, social isolation, for e.g. class distance, a growing issue in modern India. Three, alienation from fellow beings due to excessive pre-occupation with television and internet which mediates social life.  In all such cases, the Other ceases to exist as a presence, it ceases to pulsate with breath and beauty, it becomes an It.

How do we break that cycle? Inter-class and inter-gender community dialogue can possibly be one route. I watched and read community mediation cases where communities which had encountered inter-ethnic riots were able to talk through their issues and find a working ground. 

Two, instead of giving capital punishment, efforts can be made for rapists to meet and know about the life of the girl who was raped. However, it needs to be done sensitively. For e.g. in USA, drunk drivers have to attend a compulsory meeting with family of folks who were killed or injured due to drunk driving—called MAD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). Research has shown that if family members are extremely aggressive and hostile to the drunk drivers, they do not manage to send intended message. Drivers feel so guilty that when they leave the prison they go back to drinking to assuage their guilt. What is found effective is low-intensity messages, in which drunk drivers are coaxed and gently nudged into realizing what they have done. Such a process has been found to reduce repeat offenses. 

Similarly, what we could try is low-intensity messages to rapists in the hope they will come face to face with the crime they have committed. It is my firm conviction that there is no better anti-rape advocate than a reformed rapist. Please see this video below of a man who raped when he was a teen and later became an anti-rape activist.

What is also needed  is for each one of us to be aware of how we convert the Other into “It” in our everyday lives—whether it is refusing the maid to use our bathroom, or making an employee/subordinate work crazy hours, or treating each other poorly. Yes, for being fully present to receive the Other, there is no better practice than mindfulness. May I recommend this site http://www.aarathiselvan.com/ for useful articles on the same?

What we today have is not fearful futures and broken todays—but rather an opportunity to heal—both within and in the society. Instead of spreading fear-mongering messages, the time calls us to have peace within and to hold hope and light and work gently, one step at a time.

May this moment be full!

[Please refer to Voices for Damini Initiative for more articles on sexual violence]