Sa Ham-I am She

Photo Courtesy: Mayalakshmi Rao (Please visit her blog http://chakratirthatravels.blogspot.in/ for info on unusual ways to travel India)

I recently read Santosh Namby Chandran’s post Shivoham, Shivoham, a chant that I have loved since my teenage years. To me the chant celebrates the triumph of Vedanta, of breaking through every category, every archetypal call, every possible material and intellectual limitation, to rise into that ultimate optimism—that we are all divine.

But as much as I love the chant, I have felt disconnected with the term “Shivoham”—I am Shiva. Yes, I do know that Shiva in the ultimate sense is not a gendered being, but that Consciousness that pervades and is substratum of all. And yet the journey from here—a vulnerable, flesh and blood, intensely woman human to there—a consciousness where all categories dissolve, cannot ignore the material and the secular realities that envelopes the here.

And my search led me to the mantra-Sa Ham—I am She—an empowering chant that is compassionate to the existing realities of being a woman while still guiding us to move beyond boundaries—a clutch, a training wheel till one is ready to ride alone.

I have often contended in my research papers and in media interviews that the modern social interventions to facilitate women empowerment is limited and is dependent on social or governmental agency to seek and “push” a woman on the path. However, for many women around the world, the easiest path to empowerment lies right within her home in her altar or in daily religious rituals.

Before my readers start to argue about the patriarchal symbols that dominate our altars and practices, let me request you to postpone that judgment and hear me out.

During the period when I had just walked out of my marriage and was moving alone to a new country with no more than $500 in my pocket, with  absolutely no friends and at a time when I did know of feminism or feminist theories,  my strength came from the fact that I grew up Maa Durga’s Bengal. To see the Divine Feminine is such a powerful image has its own impact on the psyche. And further, my reflection on the sacred geometry of Sri Chakra brought awareness within me that the power of the Universe did not exist outside but right at base of my own spine. I felt as if I was walking around with the powerful nuclear bomb and often I envisioned myself in the persona of the Goddess.

And I have noted the same for many other Hindu women who develop a close relationship with Mother/Divine Feminine (for Christians, Mother Mary is a powerful image of forgiveness and grace and acceptance—do read Dr. Elisabeth Fiorenza’s work in this regard; for Muslims, the sacred verses have been contested fiercely; but you may want to read AnouarMajid’s works in this regard on how Islamic Feminism has its own place in their cultural ethos. I would recommend a viewing of “Mystic Iran, the Unseen World” to understand how women’s communities in Islam is a powerful way to connect to that consciousness beyond as well as empowering them at the same time—it is one of those documentaries that gives me goosebumps everytime I watch it).

Yes, our religions are replete with patriarchal images—Sita and Lakshmi adulated more than Durga or Kali (you may want to read Rajeshwari Sunder Rajan’s lovely chapter on Real and Imagined Goddesses in the book "Is the Goddess a Feminist?: The Politics of South Asian Goddesses"  that elaborates on this issue). But at the same time, I have issues with feminists who in their desire for liberating religion from patriarchy (like Mary Daly's 1975 edition of Church and the Second Sex) have dumped ancient religions altogether in favor of creating new ones.

You see, religion is not merely a social activity. A practice or image often emerges from purity of being/beings who are able to communicate divine in particular forms. Yes, there are many corrupt practices and images created by greedy and impure folks. But still, a sacred image cannot be conceived by a social activist. It is a sacred process.

I remember arguing with the author of "The Alphabet vs Goddess" for his exclusion of Eastern Goddesses, who not only pre-date many Goddess images known today but are also the oldest surviving images and practices in the world today. (Before certain folks decide to use this para to claim greatness of Hinduism, you may want to read this wonderful essay on the journey of Durga to India)

To tease the good out of the amalgamated religious mixture is the effort of the soul. One needs to put that energy on study and reflection. Mere complaining will not work.

We have often relegated the spiritual to a sacred realm without taking into consideration the secular realities that influence the way we access or interpret the sacred. To that end, I will spend the nine days of Goddess on Earth to reflect on women here and women above, to mark and connect the sacred and secular into one single phrase—Sa Ham—I am She.

Happy Mahalaya all! May we all discover we are Her!

For posts in this series visit:

1.        She is She-Girl Child in India

3.       Mother Managers

4.       Solo Woman Travelling—some do’sand don’ts