Reflections on She

Durga Puja in Kali Bari, West Mambalam Chennai 2012

[Today I move from the more secular and this worldly focus in the Sa Ham-I am She navratri series and instead plunge into the sacred and reflect on the story of Ma Durga, This post was written on my Mother's request and is dedicated to women like her who ponder about the Great Goddess.]

As a teenager I often wondered why most images of Maa Durga in the pandals showed a smiling Mother killing the evil Rakshasa. I asked myself, should she not be angry?

I have asked myself that question several times hence.  How can you smile when you are killing someone? Either you need to be angry or you need to look crazy—a passionate moment when strength surges through your muscles, blood enters your guts and numbs your senses. How can you look so serene and composed when you are killing? Unless, of course, you are Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. But even then, isn’t there a sinister smile, a smile of triumph, of glee? How can you smile like you care, like you are in love, like a Mother?

Yes, I have heard that after the killing, Mahisasura, like the other villains of Hindu mythology goes to heaven, or as they say—attains moksha (liberation). Nobody who is killed by supreme good folks of Hindu Mythology whether Vishnu or Shiva or Durga goes to hell!

Let us put the two together and, instead of a rational sequence, let us go through this mythic tale emotionally.

Have you known or heard of a drug addict? Somebody who is desperate for a fix. Somebody who will do anything for the fix—lie, cheat, steal, rob, even kill, if needed, for the fix? And have you tried to reform/rehabilitate him/her?

Now look at Mother as a social worker and Mahisasura as a drug addict. Remember, don’t consider Mahisasura as essentially wicked or evil, but rather having injurious tendencies and habits. Just a poor soul who has lost his way.

Go through the mythical tale again. Watch his addiction for power. Watch the great social worker in action. You have seen bollywood movies nah? When the hero or heroine comes in disguise to rescue somebody who is kidnapped or trapped by the villain? See this myth like a bollywood movie.

There she sits with her girlfriends on the big boulders somewhere in his kingdom. She is a party girl and very very pretty. And like many girls who are pretty she is haughty. She knows she can have her way. Guys fall for her so easily. She likes a good challenge, so she says as she teases and cajoles his men.

Except that the Great Goddess is also the Eternal Mother—Mother who can look like a ravishing young woman, but is nevertheless every bit a mother.

Watch as Mahisasura’s social peers—those who never tell him he has gone awry, those who supply him with drugs, those who peddle drugs for him, try to beat her down. The Great Goddess does not flinch. To some she utters a contemptuous  “Hum” blistering pride and sense of self, for others, she lets her girlfriends do the trick—the Goddesses taking over the party town. She waits and waits for Mahisasura to appear.

She waits most impatiently for her son to appear—the son that she lost to the drug called power. There he finally appears—drugged out, crazed, angry that his fix has been denied, unable to recognize his own mother, seeing nothing, knowing nothing but his desire for his fix—let me capture you, woman, and bind hand and feet, and  let me establish my lordship over you.

Meanwhile her heart skips a beat—her son is there in the mad battlefield, behaving most stupidly—she stares at him worried, in grief at his state, in an outpouring of love, she rises and rushes. A hurricane blows over the battlefield—drug peddlers and pimps fall aside. Kali gets into action and cuts the supply chain of Raktabeeja forever.

In the best action story ever told, the beautiful mother, torn by worry, becomes her most efficient self. Utterly focussed, organized, strategic, the Mother sets about her work—she is going to extricate her son today.

Look at her son—there he disguises as this and tries to attack her, there he disguises as that and attempts to pin her down...but look, he has not had his fix for a long time. See how he suffers as the drug withdrawal sets in. See how his body turns and twists and spasms as it longs and yearns for the fix again. See how he suffers and watch the all-knowing Mother making her heart as tough as granite, holding back all her motherly emotions,to work with one-pointed focus—today he will withdraw from that drug completely, today I will hold him against his will, today I will do all I can to prevent him from using those drugs ever again.

And watch how much she suffers as she refuses her darling son the one thing he wants. Watch how the crazed son makes one last attempt as his soul heaves and crashes over her...and now, the time has come and she knows, her son will be free.

With absolute joy and utter love, she picks up her spear and tears through the last strings of need, as the pounding desperation shudders and let goes. Watch Mother: she is in utter joy, she is smiling—her son is released!!!!

Watch now as she tears, the ravishing beauty who was always a mother, as finally she allows her motherliness to surface, watch that compassionate face as she smiles ever so slightly, watch her renewed contentment and now look at her spear—the weapon of utter compassion.

The great social worker triumphs! Jai Ma Durga!

Do watch and listen to this lovely chant "Ya Devi Sarva Bhuteshu" (She who exists in all beings...) 

You may also like to read this post on Kali.

This is the eighth post in the Sa Ham-I am She navratri series. For other posts click below:

1 1.  Sa Ham-I am She 

S 2. She is She-Girl Child in India

       3.   Mother Managers

    4.  Solo Woman Travelling—some do’sand don’ts

     5.   Friday Thoughts: To Buri Maa(Old Mother

 6. When She is Mother Earth

7. The Many Faces of She